Sitting with Horses

My history with horses goes back 55 years.  Not that I have been around them all of that time but, riding lessons at Camp Pendleton began in 4th grade.  Salty was his name, a quarter horse that I had to groom before each lesson and cool down afterward, was my first.  We had to study the anatomy of a horse and learn how to care for them, not just jump on their back and go for a ride. We learned about their tack and how to care for it as well. I still love the smell of saddle soap. 

Next came Lady, an Arabian/Quarter horse cross that we bought at a farm auction when we moved to Adel, Iowa.  She was so skinny that I could fit my fingers between her ribs when she came home with us.  With good food, grooming and love, she became healthy.  My sister had an appaloosa, Sonny, who at 2-3 years old had never been ridden except for the tipsy guy at a party in his pasture that attempted an unsuccessful ride.  Debi worked with Sonny until he became a good, sturdy mount.  She and I would take our beasts for rides along the country highway and gravel roads we lived along.  Sonny with his long gate and Lady prancing along in a trot that was bone rattling.  She didn’t like to stretch those legs out into a canter unless she really was pushed.

There was a long stretch until my next regular interaction with horses when I started training for a 10 day equine tour of the Tuscany region of Italy.  My ride for training was a Haflinger which is a bit like riding a couch. My, what an adventure that was!  10 days of 6-8 hours in the saddle winding our way through vineyards, ancient forests, and tiny, walled towns.  If you have watched Under the Tuscan Sun you know what I viewed on that trip.  It was magical.  If it weren’t for the fact that it was my honeymoon for a doomed marriage, I would look back on it more fondly but that is another long, gross story.

But, through all of my time with horses, the thread that strung them together was how soul soothing being with those large beasts was to me.  The smell of a horse.  The quiet inhale and exhale of their breath.  Those expressive eyes that, if you take the time, can guide you to know what the horse is feeling. Grooming them and feeling the ripple of muscles and the sleek, silky texture of their fur. One of my mentors as a massage therapist is John Barnes, PT.  His son is world renowned for his myofascial release (MFR) techniques with horses.  I learned them so I could work on horses in the barn where my husband kept his horse.  To have a 800+ lb beast gentle under my touch, letting its head droop closer and closer to the floor as it relaxed and began to lean on me, gave me such pleasure. That stable housed Theraplay of Indiana where “disabled” youth came to interact with horses. I once watched an early-teens aged girl with cerebral palsy lean forward over the neck of the horse she was mounted on to talk into its ear.  The woman next to me stood there with tears running down her face.  That was her “non-verbal, non-communicative” daughter and we had just witnessed the first time she had spoken.  To say it was moving is a gross understatement.

And, now, with all of my time with horses to date, I want to share the most moving experience I have personally shared.  For a few months now, Vickie Ball-Seiter, owner of Journey with Horses near Chesterhill, OH, and I have been trying to get together.  She wanted to share what she does with me….or, maybe I should say, she wanted me to experience what her horses offer with her introduction to them. Vickie is an expert at creatively moving outside the box and finding gratitude. She facilitates experiences both with and without horses which result in a deeper self-awareness for those she works with.

I kept letting my busy life get in the way.  I actually almost cancelled this week’s visit because I am so focused on getting the cabin built. I had to have a stern talk with myself about being a hypocrite and not taking my own advice about "caring for yourself so you can care for others." 

Tuesday morning, shortly before 9:30, I found myself pulling into the driveway where a woman sat in a lawn chair in the doorway to her garage.  No large riding arena was in view.  She wore “work clothes,” patched and worn in places. And that smile just begged me to give her a hug.  Oh my, the calming energy was already reaching out for me to know I was exactly where I was supposed to be. We spent a bit of time sitting in a delightful shed, chatting about our lives and what we do.  There were forms to fill out…..there ALWAYS has to be that form as we are such a world of suing when things don’t go as planned. Then we meandered down to meet her boys. 

I honestly found myself looking for an event…..a “now we will do….” …….”now I want you to……..”  you know, instructions on the structure of this “healing event” I was there to experience.  Instead, she introduced me to Popcorn, Teddy, Smokey and Dusty. Morris, of course the large orange cat, twined himself around our ankles and seemed to be weaving his purring energy into the space as introductions to the horses happened.  In the barn I found a large area with fresh wood shavings, two HUGE horses and 2 miniature horses.  The big guys were taking a morning nap, settled comfortably onto their folded legs.  Vickie pointed out the best/safest place for me to stand by Popcorn and how to watch for movement in his forelegs to know that he was going to stand up. At first I stood there, talking quietly to him while bent forward to gently pet his mane and neck. Vickie spoke in hushed tones the entire time.  No sudden movements, all calm, reassuring both the beasts and me that this was a safe time.  Of course, you need to be aware of your surroundings and animals movements and moods, especially when you are with large animals that, with a bump, could put you on your butt. But all was calm that morning.  Popcorn’s lower lip was drooping with the occasional, rubbery wiggle of a VERY relaxed horse. 

Standing began to challenge my lower back so squatting down was my next position.  “Oh, you are such a good boy. Such a big fella. Are you a draft mix maybe?” Vickie had settled herself a bit away from Popcorn and I, quietly chatting with the others and paying special attention to Dusty who decided her hair needed to be styled at one point.  Morris moved in and out of the gate to the barn, purring loudly and enjoying a spot of bright sunshine.  Teddy rolled on to his side to continue his nap while Smokey kept himself tucked  between Teddy and the wall to enjoy his standing-snooze pose. 

In the back of my mind, I was beginning to wonder, “OK, now what are we going to “do”?” As if “doing” something was going to make this therapeutic.  The squatting position was making my thighs and legs burn so I ease down into a cross-legged seated position only to find my “proper barn attire boots” were digging into my calves and putting my feet to sleep. 

So, taking a cue for Vickie’s totally-on-her-rump pose, I eased my legs out from under me and, finally, found a comfortable position with my back to the wall but enough space around me and awareness to know I could quickly move should Popcorn decide it was time to get up.  Vickie quietly checked in with me “are you feeling safe?” Yes, actually, yes, I found that

I was feeling more and more safe as the time ticked by.  Now this is where things got a bit wiggly for me. For a reason I could not determine at the time, I began to get teary-eyed.  Oh dear, how embarrassing would it be to start crying in front of this woman that I hardly know?  What in the world do I have to be getting worked up? Dang it….now the nose is going to run and I don’t have a handkerchief to wipe it. 

Deep breath in…..then out….slower now …..innnnn…. outttt …..that’s better.  

All the while I am slowly stroking Popcorn's humongous neck and murmuring I don’t know what to him.  He takes a deep breath, matching mine. HIs head droops further until his nose is touching the wood shavings and moving them with each exhalation.  His eyes are still open but closing ever so slowly.  I worried that he would inhale the tiny shavings and put our delightful time to an end with the need to sneeze.  I wrapped my left hand over the top of his neck to see if I could gently scratch the other side of his neck as I worried I was rubbing a path on the nearside to an annoying degree.  That is when the shift happened. 

At first he perked up his ears and raised his head.  I thought I had ruined a perfectly delightful moment but waking him up and making him uncomfortable with MY need to touch.  He turned his head slightly towards me as if checking in with me somehow.  Then, ever so slowly, he drifted off of his tucked under legs and onto his side.  Head still up but relaxed.  I continued to stroke the far side of his neck and closed my eyes.  I just wanted to relax, let my brain still, let my heart be calm, connect with this beast that seemed to be calming me with his very presence. 

Then IT happened! That glorious, HUGE head of his came down into my lap!  My eyes popped open. 

No way did this behemoth just relax enough with a complete stranger to decide he could trust me enough to take a nap with his head in my lap!!!! Very slowly I leaned back against the wall and relaxed myself. I have no clue how long we sat/lay there.  I looked over at Vickie who was watching us with Dusty at her side.  She was in tears! She mouthed, “I’m jealous.” Tears rolled down my face unchecked.  No sobs, just salty water carrying away heaviness I have been feeling lately.  Yep, the jacket I had on needed to be washed when I got home as that was all I had to wipe my nose on.  And, you know what, it was just fine.  Tears in front of a relative stranger, 4 horses and a purring cat was exactly what I needed that morning.   

Comfort and healing come in MANY forms.  If you are in need, continue to explore what Nature has to offer you.  You might just find it in a very unexpected place.